Is that your final answer?

You know that awesome game show, "What Wants to be a Millionaire" ? Is it even still on? Anyway, those always ask the contestant if their answer is their final answer. Today, I finally got my answer and it's final.

Let me say that I really love the sonogram lady at my doctor's office. She is so wonderful at telling me what is on the screen and answering my questions. What we saw could barely be described as a gestational sac. It was much lower in my uterus than it should have been. I met with my doctor after she was done. He was very frank with me (which I appreciate). He said there is no hope anymore. Yes, my numbers are going up because there is still some tissue in my body but it's not going to develop into a baby.

I was given the option of a D&C or waiting. What I've decided to do is to what for a few weeks to see if my body will finish this miscarriage on its own and then decide if I want to do the surgery. I'm just not ready to march myself back into surgery right now. It stinks that this is lingering on and on and on but I'm trusting God to get me through. I'm accepting it and instead of being angry, I'm choosing to seek God through it.

I'm not a superhero or a martyr. I'm just a woman taking it day by day and hoping that one day we'll see a heartbeat on the screen instead of nothing.